So this semester...

Well this was an interesting semester…

This is my second semester here at Michigan, but my first “real” term as most people are calling it. It was perhaps crazier than the first. I found my friend groups shifting, friends that I thought I would always keep in contact with slowly disappeared from my life to the point where we never even text. I wonder whom I will actually keep in touch with after this year? Will all of my Alice Lloyd friends forget me and move on? Is there any actual consistency in college? Where do I even want to live after this year?

Was this me at the beginnings of my sickness? 

Being sick this semester added a whole other layer to one of the supposedly most complicated semesters in college. Having mono in college is probably one of the worst sicknesses you can get. Not only was I misdiagnosed for two months, but I struggled to explain to everyone why I was still always tired when I was supposed to be getting better.  People don’t talk about the depression you experience at one point during mono. My roommate would come in late at night and find me crying in a corner. When she would ask me what was wrong, a stream of random problems seemed to flow from my mouth. I was falling asleep in random places, sleeping almost 14 hours each day, but also trying to keep up with my social and academic life.

The worst thing is how people run for the hills when you tell them you have mono. Mono is transferred through saliva. So it can be contracted through sharing drinks, food, toothbrushes, and yes…kissing. However, doctors say that it is less contagious than the common cold. Clearly, it is not the easiest thing to catch. However, when my advisor recently asked me how the semester was going, I told her it wasn’t so great because I had mono for most of it. Her response:

“Get out, get out of my office right now! You shouldn’t be on campus right now! Withdraw from this semester!”

See what I mean?

There’s a lot of stigma attached to mono. When my mom found out I had it her immediate reaction was:

“Well who have you been kissing?”

People also seem to take two steps back when I inform them I have it. Even the nurses at UHS seemed afraid of me. I could go over all the facts about mono and explain that the worst of my illness passed when I thought I simply had a sinus infection, but I would encourage people to instead do some research on it, instead of making assumptions.

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I also can't work out for fear that my enlarged spleen my rupture at any moment. I'm consistently out of breath after doing the simplest of tasks. Getting to class across campus seems like even a strenuous activity. 

So basically mono sucked and complicated an already difficult semester. I’m not through yet, though. This didn’t deter me from staying at the University. I have some really great friends so far, friends I could see myself staying in contact with for the rest of my life. I still have no idea what I want to do in life, but hopefully that will come. Next semester, when I make up all of the work I missed in my classes and my mono subsides, the world and the university better prepare for the new and improved Liz!

Great Movies

Movies. One of the greatest methods of storytelling in the modern era. Movies allow people to escape from reality for two hours. They allow people to dream and make fantasies come alive. The great ones, however, make viewers think. These types of movies aren’t just movies, they’re films. A film changes the way a person views the world. They stay with you when you leave the theater, leaving a lasting impression. They make people believe that anything is possible. When I was younger, I didn’t truly understand this. I didn’t have the appreciation that I now have for films. While I don’t have the time to see films like I used to (college changes your activities), I still have many favorites. While not all of these are the happiest of films, they tell an important story. I also have not seen all of the movies considered “the greatest.” Nevertheless, these films are the ones I find myself watching over and over again.

Many people make the argument that the greatest films were made in the golden age of Hollywood. While I don’t believe that is true, It’s a Wonderful Life will forever be that movie I can always find myself watching when Christmas time rolls around. Maybe because it is one of the few Christmas movies with a much deeper message than most movies of its genre or maybe it’s because of my love of the holiday, but I have a deep attachment to this movie. George’s character is relatable to everyone and so is his story. He is, ultimately, what most people turn into; a disillusioned adult stuck in a deep rut. George like most people fails to see the generous amount of love that he has in his life. His experience (spoiler!) where he must choose to continue on with his life is a movie moment that I will always remember.

I don’t think that a movie necessarily has to be considered “great” by the critics. It’s how you respond to it, what moves you. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure. I will always love movies that have been ripped apart by the critics. However, I will always have an appreciation for the classics such as The Sound of Music, Fight Club, The Breakfast Club, Gone with the Wind, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Some of my more recent favorites are Pride and Prejudice, Anchorman, Bridesmaids, Titanic, and The Blind Side.

I Used to Hate the "Catcher in the Rye"

I was fourteen. It was my freshman year of high school and I was fully engrossed in the self-perceived melodrama of my life. I was your typical moody teenager. I hated all of my classes, not understanding why I needed to take Biology when I was clearly not cracked out to be a medical professional. Our reading list in English consisted of your typical high school reads: Romeo and Juliet, The Odyssey, some other one I can’t remember, and “The Catcher in the Rye.” “The Catcher in the Rye” would prove to be the most discussed out of that very memorable list (as evidenced by my ability to remember the others…).

I detested Holden Caulfield. While other students in my class fawned over the glowing symbolism and a character they felt that they could finally relate to, I yearned for the day we could put the book to rest. He was whiny. Really whiny. He was also spoiled. And an asshole. Holden was that rich kid in high school with so much potential who squandered it because of nepotism. He had to find something wrong with everything. There was nothing that he truly seemed to like. He invaded my perfect literary world and I wanted him out.

I have had so many more crazy experiences since I first read this book. I’ve seen a lot more of life. I’ve seen that people aren’t perfect and that they make mistakes, but you must, must attempt to get to know them and figure out why. People are often the biggest surprises in life. 

I chose to read this book recently a second time around. I finally have an understanding of why this book is a classic. The feelings that a teenager experiences? They’re all there. Holden’s an anti-hero and really, aren’t all human beings? Maybe the reason I couldn’t stomach it the first time was because I was feeling some of the same feelings as Holden. Maybe I was actually like Holden?

 

Is Holden Caulfield my favorite literary character of all time now? No. However, having lived a little bit more, I find myself better able to relate to him than I was that first semester freshman year. Maybe I didn’t initially like him because he was like me?

Teenagers and 20something’s have a tendency to think they know everything even when they don’t. If there’s anything that I have learned in my short time on this planet, it is that things and people change. Your ideas will change about them. However, you have to open yourself up to doing so.

I think I’m finally starting to do that. 

My Thoughts on the Ending

I was, in many ways not surprised by the ending. I think that we had a lot of foreshadowing that occurred for the majority of the story. There are many cases where a wife who has been abused will attack her husband in some way. I was upset about how Jaja took the blame for what Beatrice did, considering he has already suffered so much. I think that this ending leaves the story up to the reader. I would have liked to have seen more closure in regards to the death of Papa Eugene, but I think that ultimately the way his death was portrayed is a very thought out example of what can happen when a wife has reached her breaking point in an abusive relationship.

I think that the end of this story brings about hope for the future. While the characters may be in odd places in their lives we are left to contemplate which direction they will go in. I think that ultimately, the stories that don’t necessarily show where the character are heading is the most satisfying. If we knew that their was a happily ever after, then we wouldn’t find the story as interesting or powerful.